Someone Like You Read online

  She didn’t dare to look out the window now. Instead, she closed her eyes and laid her head against the seat. She could tell they were losing altitude quickly, her stomach jumping into her throat with every drop. Her mind flashed to her mother. Had she remembered to tell her she loved her? Probably. Her aunt Ginny? Hopefully. Lex? No, her last words would haunt her. She had told her she didn’t want her. She wouldn’t stand in the way of her and Cassidy. It had only hit her in a dream that she didn’t want to lose her a second time.

  And here she was, on a plane, heading to Paris to bust up a wedding. Or, she was until misfortune intervened. She felt the plane drop more sharply than before and knew that this was the final descent. The captain was using what power he did have to land them as upright and safely as he could in the choppy waters of the Atlantic Ocean. If he was successful, they would disembark, a vice grip on their tiny flotation device praying that they would be rescued.

  Yes, she was frightened. Afraid of death, but not for the reasons she thought. No, what hurt her most was she had missed the opportunity to tell Lex that she was in love with her, always had been and of course always would be. That missive got her ass on the plane in the first place. She would tell her, and if Lex chose Cassidy then Aspen would walk away. However, if by some miracle, Lex chose her, Aspen would spend the rest of her life loving her.

  The plane pitched sharply left, and her gasp got lost behind the mask. She felt smothered again and tried to paw the offender off of her face with no success. She told herself to work with the mask and not against it. Fear would only fuel her panic, and panic would be her demise.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, it has been a pleasure flying with you today.” The captain’s voice held a sarcasm born of desperation. At that moment, there was nothing to say. She felt the giant beast shudder around her and when it hit the water, the impact jarred her to the core. The last sound she heard was the sound of a vacuum seal being broken before a roar like none she had ever heard filled her ears and drowned out everything else.

  Her next minutes were on auto—pilot as she barely registered the words around her. Her subconscious took over and a will to live surged from deep within her body. Her arms gripped the seat to her chest, and she shuffled slowly, her turn to jump inching closer with every second. She reached the door, tried to take a deep breath and felt her lungs tighten. She froze. No, she needed the air. She gulped unsuccessfully. Her hands gripped the door, preventing the hand on her back from pushing her out.

  Please, she thought, just let me take a good breath, and then I will jump. She opened her mouth again, and in the second that she loosened her grip to inhale, unseen hands pushed her, and she felt herself falling.

  “Aspen? Aspen, honey, wake up!” Lex shook Aspen’s shoulders, trying to wake her up. “Come on, A. Please wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”

  Aspen felt herself starting to wake up. The tunnel of darkness disappearing behind her. She gasped and filled her lungs with air. “Lex?”

  “Yes, baby, I’m here.” Lex lay down beside her and pulled Aspen into her arms. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s going to be okay. It was just a dream.”

  Aspen curled her fist around Lex’s shirt. Her head rested on Lex’s chest, and she could hear Lex's erratic breathing and quickened heartbeat. Her own was still beating out of her chest. Minutes passed before she could talk. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  Lex rubbed her arm. “It’s okay. You had me worried.” She hugged Aspen closely. “So, do you have nightmares all the time?”

  “Sometimes.” Aspen admitted. “They’ve gotten worse lately. They just feel so real.”

  “Well, whatever it was must have been pretty bad. You were screaming loud enough to wake the dead.”

  “God, I’m sorry, Lex. I did not mean to wake you up. It was just so real. I almost…”

  “You almost what, honey? Tell me.” Lex’s soothing tone, coupled with her hand rubbing absentminded circles on her back, calmed Aspen down instantly.

  “You, you were getting married in Paris, and I was trying to get to you. The plane was going down.”

  Lex’s heart jumped. It shouldn’t have; she knew better. She had no right to feel joy that somewhere in Aspen’s subconscious, she didn’t want her to move on. The very fact that she would have gotten on a plane, despite her fear of flying, warmed her. “It’s okay, honey. I’m here. See.” She squeezed Aspen against her; reminding them both, they were very much alive.

  “It was just so real.” Aspen said softly. “They always are. They started…they started after you left. I guess the stress of being here is ramping them up a bit.”

  Lex felt a pang in her heart and once again, she felt the enormity of her decision weigh on her. She was responsible for what had just happened. “A, honey, I am so sorry.”

  “Don’t.” Aspen cut her off with a rueful laugh. “Don’t apologize for what’s already done. We’ve been down that road. I’m an adult, and I will deal with it. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

  Lex chuckled softly, her attempt at lightening the mood. “It’s really okay. I like to wake up at three o’clock sometimes.”

  Aspen groaned loudly. She glanced at the clock and saw the red numbers glowing 3:09. “Yeah, I’m sure.” She pulled away and propped her head on her palm. “I’m okay now. You can go back to bed.”

  “Nah, I’m up now.” Lex shifted away from Aspen and sat up, her shadow barely visible in the dark. “I’ve got to finish an article anyway. My deadline’s today and I haven’t even started it.”

  She pushed herself off the bed, and Aspen immediately missed her weight. “I’ll get up with you. I don’t want to go back to sleep and risk another nightmare. Besides, I’m starving.”

  “Leave it to you to think of food at a time like this.” Lex paused at the door. “Let me grab my laptop, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

  Aspen sat up and brought her knees to her chest. Her heartbeat had finally slowed enough that she didn’t feel like she was having a heart attack. She scrubbed her palms over her eyes, pushing unpleasant images out of her head. She swung her feet over the side of the bed, feeling for her slippers and sliding into them. She registered the chill in the air and knew winter was wrapping its icy tendrils gently around them.

  She padded out of her bedroom and found Lex bent over the fireplace. She watched as she lit the kindling and fanned the first few flames.

  “Good idea.”

  Lex jumped. She didn't hear Aspen join her. She spun around and saw Aspen’s sleepy blue eyes. She felt her heart jump into her throat. Even at three o’clock in the morning, she was gorgeous. Her mind flashed to years before, and she saw them together. Young and in love. It wasn’t unlike them to wake up in the middle of the night wanting each other, only able to fall back asleep after their cravings had been sated. She willed the visions away and merely succeeded in making them more vivid. “Yeah, it’s a little cold.”

  “I think winter is coming a little early this year.” Aspen shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. “Nothing a little hot coffee can’t fix.”

  Lex watched her start the first pot. “This reminds me of our first place.”

  “Oh, God.” Aspen rolled her eyes. “The only thing that reminds me of that matchbox is, well, a literal matchbox. That place was so small.”

  Lex chuckled softly. “I was thinking more the early-morning coffee then the size. Do you remember the mornings we used to get up this early?”

  Aspen shook her head. “Yeah, we were crazy.”

  Lex cocked her head. “True. However, I remember wanting to wake up, just so I could talk to you.”

  “Okay, so maybe you were the crazy one.” Aspen shook her head. “I don’t think we slept much at all that first year.”

  “We were in love. Sleep wasn’t as important as spending time with you.”

  “Aww, you’re such a romantic.” Aspen teased softly. “So, how about we revisit another tradition?”

  “Are you thinking what I
’m thinking?” Lex grinned wickedly and smirked.

  “Ahh, no.” Aspen looked at her askance. “I will not go skinny dipping with you again.”

  Lex’s laughter filled the room. “You always did read me like a book. You have to admit that was a lot of fun.”

  “If by fun, you mean scaling a six-foot privacy fence, sneaking into a locked pool and getting caught by the security guard fun, then okay, that was loads of fun.”

  “I seem to remember you enjoying yourself that night. As a matter of fact, I think it was someone screaming my name who alerted the security guard in the first place.”

  Aspen felt her face get hot. “Oh God, I have never been that mortified in my life. I couldn’t even look at him.”

  “Well, getting caught aside, I’d say that was one of our better traditions.” Lex’s eyes met Aspen's, and the memories surged between them. They were like invisible currents of barely contained electricity. Their gazes held for several more beats before Aspen pulled her eyes away.

  Aspen took a deep breath. She had to break the connection. She needed to breathe again. Being caught in Lex’s eyes was like spinning in suspended animation. She felt as though she was outside her body, unable to control her visceral response to Lex. She didn’t like being out of control. She didn’t want to lose herself again. She barely found herself the first time, pulling together some semblance of a life. She couldn’t afford to do that again. If anything, her nightmare had firmed her resolve to keep her distance. She pulled her heart back into her chest. “What I was actually thinking was cinnamon rolls.”

  Lex watched her pull away, her eyes closing off, the view into her soul gone. “Oh yeah, those.”

  “Well, don’t sound so disappointed.” Aspen feigned offense. “If I remember correctly, you used to love those.”

  “I seem to remember loving to watch you make them more so than the actual cinnamon roll.”

  Aspen felt her cheeks redden again. When they had been married, she spent a lot of time cooking in just an apron. More often than not, her cooking was interrupted by a frenzied round of lovemaking. “I can promise you that is not going to happen this morning.”

  “Damn shame.” Lex smiled wickedly. She picked her laptop up and planted herself on the opposite side of the island. “Will this give you enough room?”

  “Yep.” Aspen studied her while she worked. Lex’s face had matured over the last five years. She wouldn’t have noticed it as much had her forehead not been creased in concentration. The lines around her eyes had deepened some, but did nothing to detract from her handsome looks. Her long hair was pulled into its ever—present pony tail. Her skin had lost some of its summer color, but still had its beautiful Greek coloring. Aspen had to admit that she was every bit as breathtaking as she remembered. She reminded herself that looking at her that closely was way too dangerous.

  “Yes?” Lex asked without raising her eyes from her computer.

  “Huh?” Aspen felt embarrassment at being caught.

  “You were staring at me.” Lex looked up, and her eyes rooted Aspen in place.

  Aspen swore silently. Those damn brown eyes. So captivating. So…so sexy. “Nothing. Just wondering what you were writing about.”

  “Uh—huh.” Lex responded sarcastically. Mercifully, she looked away. She started paraphrasing the article she was working on. “I’m doing a series of articles on female athletes.”

  “That sounds interesting.” Aspen pulled ingredients out of the cupboard as she listened. “What’s the angle?”

  “I’m looking at female athletes, in particular, that have set records in their respective sports that are above their male counterparts and don’t get the same recognition, namely similar monetary compensation. The gap between the two has closed some, but females still suffer from disparate treatment.”

  “Do you think your articles will help?” Aspen dumped a package of yeast into warm water and set the mixing bowl aside.

  Lex shrugged. “Who knows? It’s been that way for years. Navratilova, Chris Evert, the Williams sisters. Look at the WNBA. The average salary for a rookie is less than forty—thousand a year. The median rookie salary for the NBA is over seven hundred thousand, and that’s the thirtieth round pick. I don’t think it will change it, but I at least want to use my position to raise awareness.”

  “Well, you are in as good a position as any to do some good.” Aspen turned the oven on the Proof setting and started adding the other ingredients to the bowl.

  “I guess I just want to do more than cover sports. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I would just love to see the playing field be more level sometime in my life.”

  “It’s a little like getting same—sex marriage legalized in all the states. It’s a great goal; I just think there are a lot of narrow—minded people that believe differently.”

  Lex watched her as she let the mixer mix the ingredients. “That’s the problem. There are so many people in this country that know that equality should be a way of life, in sports, in marriage, you name it, but that is the minority, and until we change the attitude of the majority, it’s a losing battle. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t make a stink about it.”

  Aspen watched her eyes flash and chuckled. “Passionate much?”

  “Actually, yes. Take us, for example. Because the majority rules, we had to come back to Vermont to get a divorce. How is that fair?”

  “Are you not enjoying our six months of solitary?” Aspen intended the question in a teasing manner, and she hid a twinge of hurt that Lex wasn’t enjoying their time together as much as she was.

  “That’s not what I meant, A.” Lex met her eyes and smiled ruefully. “You know our time together is amazing, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I was just making a point.”

  “Relax, Lex, I’m teasing.” Aspen put the dough in a greased pan, put it in the warm oven and set the timer for sixty minutes. “It’s going to be a while on the dough. I’m going to get a jump on the girls. If I’m not back before the buzzer goes off, will you yell at me?”

  “I’ll help.” Lex started to shut her laptop, but Aspen stopped her. “What?”

  “I’ve got it. You write. I know you have a deadline.” Aspen waived her hand in the air signaling some unseen power.

  Lex watched her retreat down the hallway and fought a feeling of loss. She had seen a look flash in Aspen’s eyes when they were talking about their time on the ranch, and Aspen mistaking her response as a sign she didn’t want to be here. “Shit.”

  It didn’t seem to matter how hard she tried, she still managed to screw things up. Shaking her head, she pushed herself off her stool and poured herself another cup of coffee. She was just adding creamer when Aspen made her way back to the kitchen.

  “Did you leave me any?” Aspen asked with an accusing smile.

  Lex shook the pot guiltily. “No, but that pot was stale anyway. How about I make you a fresh pot and bring it out? And, maybe you will actually take my offer to help.”

  “Maybe.” Aspen smiled sweetly. “You bring the coffee, and I’ll consider it.”

  Lex watched her walk out. She was wearing a thick fleece and worn jeans that hugged her in all the right places. She almost laughed out loud at her brightly-colored rain boots. That was one of Aspen’s many quirks, and it always made her smile. Truth be told, everything about Aspen made her smile. Looking back, she couldn’t remember what exactly had driven her away in the first place. Failure over not being able to conceive. It seemed rather childish now. Of course, Lex had never been able to deal with her failure in a constructive way.

  She cocked her ear and heard the coffee pot pushing the last few drops of coffee into the pot. She pulled a travel mug out of the cabinet and filled it almost to the top with steaming coffee. She added a touch of creamer, and two scoops of turbinado sugar. She gave it a quick stir and popped the lid in place. She quickly located her coat and boots and stepped outside with Aspen’s coffee.


  As she approached the barn, she could hear Aspen’s soft voice carrying towards her. She tip-toed silently, trying to make out the words.

  “Well, girl, what do you think of this weather? It’s going to be a cold winter. I’ll be wishing there was someone here to warm me up.”

  Lex smirked and swallowed a chuckle. In her mind, she immediately volunteered to be Aspen’s blanket. Stop it, she thought. You have someone at home that wouldn’t be too thrilled with you even thinking that. She was surprised when another thought answered. Yeah, but she did give you permission to do whatever you needed to do to get over Aspen, including you know. Lex shook her head. Yes, I know what you know is, and I’m not sure how that will help get over her.

  Lex rolled her eyes and pushed the voices to the back of her mind. Yes, she knew that technically Cass had given her permission for one last time with Aspen. She thought it would help Lex get over her. Honestly, Lex was worried it would just remind her that she would never get over her. Sleeping with Aspen would only serve to further complicate an already complicated situation. Let’s just forget we have that option, shall we?

  She stepped into the barn and cleared her throat. “Hey, did I hear someone order coffee?”

  Aspen took the cup with a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

  Lex shivered. “Cold in here.”

  “Yeah, a bit. Aunt Ginny had heaters installed with the remodel. I think we are going to have to turn them on. They don’t mind it too cold out here, but if the water freezes, they can’t drink it and that’s not good.”

  Lex pulled a pitchfork off its hook and started towards Tarra’s stall. “I hope they have a better tolerance for it than me.”

  “They do, you baby.” Aspen teased. She rubbed Reba’s nose. “Don’t you? You can tolerate a little cold, can’t you?” Reba whinnied in response. “I already did Lacey’s stall. Once I finish Reba’s, I’ll get them fresh water and turn on the heaters. Don’t worry, girls, we will get you warmed up soon.”

  Lex watched Aspen’s profile a moment longer before she shoved the pitchfork into her own piled of straw and started shaking it out. “So, when is Aunt Ginny coming back?”